Here are some real portraits from history that could have very well been taken right out of the Addams Family photo album.
The names here are borrowed from the Addams Wiki and the descriptions are loyal to lore when available, the blanks were filled in by my dirty mind.
(Click the pictures to see their source link.)
Meet the Addams’s you never knew existed…
1. Cousin Odd Addams - Known for his preference of hiding in hedges and imitating carnations. (Unfortunately he believed his arms were the roots and his rear the flower….)
2. Aunt LaBorgia - She killed so many of her husbands they executed her by firing squad.
3. Mamoud Khali Pasha Addams - Said to be ‘the firebug of the Bosphorus’, reportedly took pyromanic orders from the conjoined brother that lived in his stomach.
4. Uncle Droop and Aunt Drip - It took a record 15 milk crates to get Aunt Drip to be able to kiss Uncle Droop at their wedding, but as she tells it, it was well worth it....
5. Aunt Grizzle - It was said she earned each tattoo for every Grizzly bear she caught with her bear hands and subsequently served for dinner.
6. Aunt Spurt - She was said to be in a constant growth spurt. This is her at age 8.
7. Casanova Addams - Although he accidentally killed numerous wives in training for his famous knife throwing act, he was eventually jailed for nonpayment of alimony to the one he hadn’t.
8. Great Aunt Esther - Wednesday tried to get Grandmama to help her summon Great Aunt Esther, the first and cheapest witch in Salem, from the dead for her school project. Morticia didn’t want to let Wednesday down, but knew Grandmama’s powers were just as rusty as her fingernails, so she told Gomez to pretend he’s her because he’s the one with the mustache….
9. Florine Addams - The first ever recorded set of conjoined twins to identify as one person.
10. Fingers Addams - So named for his complete inability to pickpocket properly....
11. That Addams - Father to Cousin Itt.
12. Cousin Turncoat Addams - No one ever really trusted Ol’ Turncoat, but ironically he never betrayed anyone, he just always looked like he was about to….
13. Cousins Otis and Redding - Said to play the best music, these Addams twins could even sing in three part harmony.
14. Uncle Tic, Aunt Phobia and Cousin Creep - Said to be so consistently afraid, that their hair never had the chance to turn anything but white.
15. Aunt Hatchet and Aunt Vendetta - These two sisters never let a man get in between them for long...